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129 lines
5.7 KiB
Plaintext
129 lines
5.7 KiB
Plaintext
I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
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I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
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I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
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From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
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I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
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I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
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About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
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With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
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I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
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I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
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In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
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I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
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I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
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I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!
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Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
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And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
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Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
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And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:
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In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
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I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
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In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
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When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a Javelin,
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When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
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And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",
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When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
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When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery—
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In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy—
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You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
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For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
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Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
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But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
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I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
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I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
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I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
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I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
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From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
|
|
|
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I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
|
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I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
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|
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
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With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
|
|
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I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
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I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
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In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
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I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
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I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;
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I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
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I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
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In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
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I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
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I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!
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Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
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And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
|
|
|
|
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
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And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:
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In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
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I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
|
|
|
|
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
|
|
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a Javelin,
|
|
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
|
|
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",
|
|
|
|
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
|
|
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery—
|
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In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy—
|
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You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
|
|
|
|
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
|
|
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
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|
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
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|
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
|
|
|
|
I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
|
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I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
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I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
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|
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
|
|
|
|
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
|
|
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
|
|
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
|
|
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
|
|
|
|
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
|
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I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
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|
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
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|
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
|
|
|
|
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;
|
|
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
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|
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
|
|
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
|
|
|
|
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
|
|
I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!
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|
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
|
|
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
|
|
|
|
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
|
|
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:
|
|
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
|
|
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
|
|
|
|
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
|
|
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a Javelin,
|
|
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
|
|
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",
|
|
|
|
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
|
|
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery—
|
|
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy—
|
|
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
|
|
|
|
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
|
|
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
|
|
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
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|
I am the very model of a modern Major-General. |